what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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