I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
