well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
two words: eviction party
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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