when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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