Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize