My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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