I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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