I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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