Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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