i think my mom watched the whole time
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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