We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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