"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
