How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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