dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
