# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
