did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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