Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
