So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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