That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
