you guys were way drunker than both of me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
