Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I supernannyed him into submission
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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