Pants 0. Shit 1.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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