Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he was CRYING into my vagina
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
