so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
