i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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