Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
