She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
