it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
