Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
