Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
sick fucks of a feather flock together
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize