He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
