Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
