It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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