I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
