We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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