I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
