she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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