i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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