I cockslap morals
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
