think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
