I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
