You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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