I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
