I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
