How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
