so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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