so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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