Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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