Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
