I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
