I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize