There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
two words...techno handjob
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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