well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
