Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
