But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize